There is nothing more fundamental to a good relationship, and therefore to a good sex life, than communication.
It is absolutely, categorically, completely, and utterly vital.
It would be nice to think that after years together you might have developed an “unspoken understanding” but don’t count on it. The number of times I’ve heard clients complain about their partners, and when I ask: “Have you told them?”, the answer is along the lines of: “No/There’s no point/They should know” and so forth.
Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact but true - humans are not mind readers. You do have to speak to each other. And that also means listening to each other. And clarifying that this speaking and listening has in fact resulted in mutual understanding.
Communication is an art.
So practice.
Speak
Because humans aren’t mind readers, we do have to speak to each other to communicate what we feel and want. Of course, body language and gesture are elements of communication too. But it’s the faculty of speech that has enabled us to come down out of the trees and become such a successful species. It was speech that enabled early humans to cooperate and progress. It’s still just as important in modern society, particularly in the most fundamental human grouping of all, the family.... read more